Comments on: The death of dating and the courting ritual? http://blog.nonmundane.org/archives/2005/10/17/the-death-of-dating-and-the-courting-ritual/ Tech discussion and thoughts on the digital lifestyle Fri, 22 Aug 2008 02:25:39 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Vanessa http://blog.nonmundane.org/archives/2005/10/17/the-death-of-dating-and-the-courting-ritual/#comment-46 Vanessa Tue, 25 Oct 2005 15:26:20 +0000 http://blog.nonmundane.org/archives/2005/10/17/the-death-of-dating-and-the-courting-ritual/#comment-46 We are both members of the LASFS livejournal. I saw your post on the friends list. Mutual friends: hazelchaz, joansteward, colleency. My LJ name is _darkvictory. We have probably not met in person. I have been a LASFS member for 3 years and rarely appear at the clubhouse. Perhaps you know my husband George. He served a term as LASFS president about a year ago. We are both members of the LASFS livejournal. I saw your post on the friends list. Mutual friends: hazelchaz, joansteward, colleency. My LJ name is _darkvictory. We have probably not met in person. I have been a LASFS member for 3 years and rarely appear at the clubhouse. Perhaps you know my husband George. He served a term as LASFS president about a year ago.

]]> By: Daniel Spisak http://blog.nonmundane.org/archives/2005/10/17/the-death-of-dating-and-the-courting-ritual/#comment-45 Daniel Spisak Tue, 25 Oct 2005 06:22:08 +0000 http://blog.nonmundane.org/archives/2005/10/17/the-death-of-dating-and-the-courting-ritual/#comment-45 Just curious, but do I know you? If not, how did you find out about my blog if I can ask? Thanks for your comments! Just curious, but do I know you? If not, how did you find out about my blog if I can ask? Thanks for your comments!

]]> By: Vanessa http://blog.nonmundane.org/archives/2005/10/17/the-death-of-dating-and-the-courting-ritual/#comment-44 Vanessa Tue, 25 Oct 2005 05:35:01 +0000 http://blog.nonmundane.org/archives/2005/10/17/the-death-of-dating-and-the-courting-ritual/#comment-44 I'm not in the dating world, but am very aware of the "herd" phenomenon. IMO it works against singles of both sexes. Usually the group offers a particular role. If yours is being the horny dork, or the screw-up, so be it. You don't get to pick. When a potential mate shows up, they meet you in that role. Don't know what part IM, e-mail, etc. plays in this. I can see it being part of a general relaxing of social expectations. Traditional dating is a fairly specific ritual, sort of like the formal multicourse meal. The herd experience has much looser requirements. Depending on the group, you may not even have to be able to carry on a conversation - just toss out smart remarks here and there. Just as some people can't deal with all those forks at the formal dinner, some can't deal with the date situation, so they stay in their group. Don't doubt that the 7 minute seductions are taking place, but I think the number of people who comfortably operate that way is fairly small. I’m not in the dating world, but am very aware of the “herd” phenomenon. IMO it works against singles of both sexes.

Usually the group offers a particular role. If yours is being the horny dork, or the screw-up, so be it. You don’t get to pick. When a potential mate shows up, they meet you in that role.

Don’t know what part IM, e-mail, etc. plays in this. I can see it being part of a general relaxing of social expectations. Traditional dating is a fairly specific ritual, sort of like the formal multicourse meal. The herd experience has much looser requirements. Depending on the group, you may not even have to be able to carry on a conversation - just toss out smart remarks here and there. Just as some people can’t deal with all those forks at the formal dinner, some can’t deal with the date situation, so they stay in their group.

Don’t doubt that the 7 minute seductions are taking place, but I think the number of people who comfortably operate that way is fairly small.

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