Loading ...So recently on MySpace I saw a prime example of a bulletin that just rubs me the wrong way. Often I will see women on their posting the following bulletin as a supposed insight into the kind of man they want in their life. However, if you read the list critically it just falls apart in my mind and I set about to document what I thought were the major fallacies I saw. My comments in italics after the original bullet from the bulletin. I see this kind of bulletin quite often and reading it I couldnt help but open my mouth and give my thoughts and opinion on this claptrap.
-i’m the guy who will text you every single morning and tell you good morning and every single night to tell you sweet dreams
Me: Right, I dont buy this one. After a few days of this the woman would be complaining to her girlfriends that the guy was a stalker or that he was “smothering” her.
-im the guy who will text you and tell you “i love you and you make me smile” just because
Me: And then the girl will start wondering what you did wrong and are guilting yourself about to make you spontaneously text her that message.
-im the guy who will blindfold you and take you to the beach, let you run your toes through the sand and then make you guess where we are
Me: This is rich, like most women these days would let ANY guy blindfold them. Paranoia and fear run rampant.
-im the guy who will show up at your games (or competitions or meets) without you knowing just to surprise you
Me: Uh, say hellow to your STALKER boyfriend yet again.
-im the guy who will hold you when you crying and wipe away your tears
Me: This should be normal human nature and not something special!
-im the guy who still thinks you’re beautiful with no makeup in sweats and a big tshirt
Me: Well, this is a romanticized explanation for morning wood.
-im the guy who won’t pressure you to do things you dont want to
Me: So instead of stepping up and being a decisive guy you want to date a unsure, flip-flopper of a man who can’t make up his mind.
-im the guy who will show up at your house with soup and a movie when you aren’t feeling well
Me: Once again, this shouldn’t be something special, this seems like basic human compassion.
-im the guy who kisses you on the forehead
Me: What the hell became wrong with kissing on the lips?
-im the guy who doesnt kiss and tell
Me: Right, I’m all for this but all rules are off if the other person starts spreading lies.
-im the guy who actually listens to you when you talk
Me: Once again, this shouldn’t be special, then again unless the other person is being completely boring in which case I think you should let them know your about to get put 6ft under the ground due to extreme boredom.
-im the guy who’s excited all day because im looking fowrward to our date that night
Me: Ahh yes, I’m all excited because I havent had a date in forever! Of course that assumes the other party doesnt flake out of their plans at the last minute.
-im the guy who is content to just be able to hold you and wants nothing more
Me: Sorry, but these guys just dont exist. Period. Women, listen up, us guys we like to have sex. All. The. Time. If we don’t want to have sex then we either are really not feeling that well, got some serious shit on out minds, or something else.
-im the guy who can’t help but smile when you walk into the room
Me: It helps when your naked, or in lingere.
-im the guy whos perfectly content with staying in and watching movies and cuddling
Me: It’s cheaper then going to the movies, god, have you seen ticket prices lately?
-im the guy who won’t lie to you about where hes going or where he’s been or who he’s been with
Me: Unless I know I’m going to be getting an earful of whiney sand in my pussy bemoaning about how dare I hang out with my friends, etc.
-im the guy who gets butterflies when he hears your name
Me: Right, women want a guy who’s so nervous by your presence he’s on the verge of throwing up. That only worked for Stan Marsh in South Park women, and he was a cartoon.
-im the guy who picks you over his friends
Me: Provided you don’t give me a bloody guilt trip any time I want to hang out with my friends.
-im the guy who’s not afraid to tell his friends he loves you
Me: Provided things have been stable for a while and I dont think your going to go all psycho crazy on me.
-im the guy who isn’t always trying to act like a hard ass around you
Me: Yeah, because women just LOVE the guys with weak presence.
-im the guy who doesn’t care about your imperfections and loves you more for them
Me: Sorry women, but if you start doing something harmful I’m going to talk to you about it (i.e. Hey, why did you start smoking? Etc)
-im the guy who will hold you while we watch the sunset
Me: Sure thing.
-IM THE GUY WHO REALLY WANTS TO MAKE YOU THE HAPPIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD
Me: Duh, I mean really, this is so fucking stupid. Yeah hi there I want to have a relationship with you yet I DONT WANT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. Uh, no! Everyone tries to make their partner happy, sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesnt.
Girls if this is your perfect guy repost this with the title “i want this guy”
Me: Girls, if you are just posting this bulletin because you’re a romatic fool then repost this with the title “I have no idea what I really want from a man”
Guys if this is you repost this with the title “im the guy”
Me: Guys, if the comments on these bullets is who you really are then repost with the title “I am a real man, not some romantic fantasy”
So yeah that is an example of some of the farcicle that is bulletins on MySpace.
-im the guy that doesnt know how to use punctuation or capitalization
No, thanks.
Heh, The lack of Capitals comes from the original bulletin.
Bitter much, Dan?
It’s not me being bitter, its me being realistic. Something that seems to be in less and less stock in people these days.
Good god! at least someone can be honest about whats realistic!! how refreshing!