2004 December 14 archive at Daniel Spisak on Technology

Archive for December 14th, 2004

3 years, 6 months ago

I am crushed.

By Daniel Spisak Closed

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Categories: Personal and Relationship Follies

There is a woman whom I have known for a few years and was good friends with. I had been trying to get to see her for the past few months (she lives out of state and works a lot) because I was trying to see if something I had been feeling was for real or not.

Today I just found out she is engaged to a guy whom she has known for far less time then she has known me.

I feel totally crushed.

I want to shake my fists at the sky and scream.

But I know it wont change things.

She just thought I was harmlessly flirting with her. I was flirting, yes, but with intent.

I would have said more to her, but I needed to see her first to see if what was in my heart was for real.

So she didnt think I was serious. That I didn’t want her.

Now I can never tie this up. Short of her not getting married. Which doesn’t seem all that likely.

I just spent the past hour talking to her about this and explaining things. Apparently she didnt think I was serious about her anymore. Of course I wasn’t, I hadn’t seen her in over 3 years. I was trying to see her to figure out if I was serious or not. Of course now that she is engaged I can’t see if I am serious anymore. Now anytime I see her I have to take all of this unfinished emotional business and lock it away somewhere and hope the lock can hold.

This really blows.

I need some good luck for once with women….but it sure as hell isn’t coming this year it seems.

Sod off fate.

About the Author

Daniel Spisak was born from the fiery depths of fusion and now roams the pale blue dot known as Earth. I obtained my bachelors degree in Computer Science from UC Irvine at the end of 2007.

I am also involved in technology & security consulting firms as well as being a freelance technology writer. I also contribute to Jerry Pournelle's website and Chaos Manor Reviews. Additionally I am also a freelance photographer as well and you can find my photos either on my own personal gallery or up at my Flickr account or on Zivity.

This blog is one of the main locations where I do my writing, which is then automatically sent to my LiveJournal, VOX, and MySpace accounts. I can also be found on a variety of social networking and microblogging sites like Pownce, Twitter, Brightkite, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

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