Daniel Spisak on Technology

There is a woman whom I have known for a few years and was good friends with. I had been trying to get to see her for the past few months (she lives out of state and works a lot) because I was trying to see if something I had been feeling was for real or not.

Today I just found out she is engaged to a guy whom she has known for far less time then she has known me.

I feel totally crushed.

I want to shake my fists at the sky and scream.

But I know it wont change things.

She just thought I was harmlessly flirting with her. I was flirting, yes, but with intent.

I would have said more to her, but I needed to see her first to see if what was in my heart was for real.

So she didnt think I was serious. That I didn’t want her.

Now I can never tie this up. Short of her not getting married. Which doesn’t seem all that likely.

I just spent the past hour talking to her about this and explaining things. Apparently she didnt think I was serious about her anymore. Of course I wasn’t, I hadn’t seen her in over 3 years. I was trying to see her to figure out if I was serious or not. Of course now that she is engaged I can’t see if I am serious anymore. Now anytime I see her I have to take all of this unfinished emotional business and lock it away somewhere and hope the lock can hold.

This really blows.

I need some good luck for once with women….but it sure as hell isn’t coming this year it seems.

Sod off fate.